‘Gutfeld!’ on police funding, criminal justice

on Jul22
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This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” July 21, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.


SEN. JOHN KENNEDY (R-LA): Yes, it does require voter I.D. The American people want that. And I say gently to my Democratic friends from Texas, if you don’t, if you don’t see the need for that, then there are one or two circumstances here. Either you — either you’re so dumb, you lose your place during sex or you want to cheat.


GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: When I lose my place during sex, I just refresh the browser window.

I was just kidding. OK. So while crime spreads like a virus on a plane full of Democrats, at least we know true justice is being done. A Florida man has been sentenced to eight months in jail for breaching the Senate chamber on January 6th carrying a Trump flag. The only surprise he didn’t get life without parole. Now, we’re not liberals, so we get it. You do the crime? You do the time. We got that from Beretta for anybody watching who’s younger than 75. Baretta.

He had a parrot. Now does it ring a bell? But you can still question the penalty. And, you know, if he were BLM, he would be a OK. But it’s obviously — the obvious that they overdid the sentencing. In fact, they even admitted as one assistant U.S. attorney said, it will send a loud and clear message, so there won’t be a next time. But you got to worry when you become a message, because then you’re screwed.

It’s a threat, like finding a horse’s head in your bed or a book signed by Andrew Cuomo. Sensing should only be for the crime, and not for a greater message, especially a message so manufactured, you heard it yourself. The breach was the worst thing since the Hindenburg, the JFK assassination and synchronized swimming, all rolled into one.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I believe that January 6 was, in effect, a second kind of civil war.

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Worst attack on our democracy since the Civil War.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The worst attack on our democracy since the Civil War.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The most serious threat to our democracy since the Civil War.

NANCY PELOSI, SPEAKER OF THE UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: The worst assault on the Capitol since the Civil War.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: January 6 was worse than 9/11 because it’s continued to rip our country apart.

BIDEN: We’re (INAUDIBLE) free and fair elections is just such a threat. Literally. We’re facing the most significant test of our democracy since the Civil War.


GUTFELD: Wow. It’s like they’re all working from the same script. Talk about sending a message and, man, they are on message, the media, the Democrats, and even the judges. But why send a message about this and not other things that are killing people. And I’m not talking about climate change or misgendering your friend Danny, hundreds of people arrested in riots last year have all had their charges dismissed.

And these include people who threw projectiles at cops and burn private property, assault in civilians and of course there was the looting and the destruction of businesses. In Minneapolis alone, you have over a half billion dollars in damages. 1500 properties damage 150 buildings set on fire, countless police injured. Maybe it’s hard to prosecute mobs and masks. But imagine if the government had devoted the time and resources to punish these thugs with the same intensity.

They devoted to hunting down trespassing grannies who didn’t wear masks. Stores could be open again, in minority neighborhoods, parked cars wouldn’t get air conditioned by broken windows. We could get M.S.13, down to M.S.5 or Six but they didn’t. Instead they egged on the civilians to narc on each other. They turned America into a nation of mafia rats, because they hate anything that smells of Trump.

And so, ignoring the helpless cries of citizens, our government created an artificial danger to keep us divided that America is now at the mercy of a white supremacist movement. Not a crime wave that’s parallelizing cities across the country. Yet we know which one is real and which one isn’t. Even the judge who sentence the Capitol Hill guy use the same exact words from the media.

Judge Randolph Moss told the guy although you were only one member of a larger mob, you actively participated in a larger event that threatened the capital and democracy itself. Now, you could say that about the crime wave but they won’t. But that sentiment about January 6th had already been put into play over and over by the media. That this day threatened democracy.

Of course the Capitol reopened and our dear leaders were back to pretending to work within hours. Meanwhile, countless businesses will never come back since the crime wave began. There are the dead who paid the price for the cowardice of liberal leaders. Remember David Dorn? You should because the media won’t. But good for you judge, you got some misguided Nutter tossed into the clink.

You save democracy. Not really. You just parroted the media’s message, which is who cares about criminal gangs. We’ve got the dumb white protester covered. Here are some San Francisco locals describing what it’s like to run a business now overrun by looters.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: They’re literally just taking it from the store. Taking it grabbing it and running.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And the bottom is now boarded up because someone broke into our store one night.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A guy cine and just grab anything that he can get.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They casually come in, grab what they need and walk out.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I run up to stop them and they kind of threatened everyone here and then they took what they wanted to.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This has been going on for a year and half now.


GUTFELD: Really bad. But I bet they’re all really relieved they sentence the guy from January 6th since all of those thieves must have been flaky Trump supporters. But AOC will tell you those criminals are only stealing bread to feed their families as they funnel the goods through an elaborate fencing network making millions for syndicates. Man has she gone quiet on that? So the government has made a choice.

It’s not based on justice, but fear. Terrified of the elite activist class they decided to let the mob steal while locking up crackpots and funny hats. The guy didn’t hurt anyone or damaged property. What’s he going to tell his cellmate that he’s in for? Loitering? So he’s a political collateral damage, a Trump supporter but the media sees as subhuman. No recipient of mercy. The security of a country is now less important than sheer political revenge.

They want you crushed like the wheels on Brian Stelter’s desk chair.


GUTFELD: I know. Sorry. I wonder what the angry white male has to say.


TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Sure it’s great taking a walk and being at peace with my thoughts. You know, it’s so strange that those same politicians who pushed for lockdowns and then encouraged those violent protests that led to the destruction of cities now wanted to criminalize shoplifting and property crimes? Which will just further hurt America’s small businesses. I mean, I just can’t think of any reason for it at all.

Don’t say great reset. It’ll make you seem crazy. Don’t say great reset. It’ll make you seem crazy. Did I just say something?


GUTFELD: He is crazy. But I wonder what the angry black male has to say.


TYRUS: What it is, what it was, what it shall be. This is Tyrus. Nuff Said. What? Yes. What happened January 6th everyone involved that was arrested and was seen on video is being — given some stiff senses as they should? It was a bad thing. I don’t believe in what aboutism. And I’m not taking one from the other. But I will say this. Everyone that broke into a building burned down a building stole a bottle of water, up to hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages to stores and buildings should also be given the same stiff penalties. Just putting up there, fair is fair, laws are the law. Leave politics out of it. That’s it.


GUTFELD: So one last quiz. What is the true threat to democracy? Citizens breaching the Capitol? Maybe. Or a government enlisting private companies to curb your freedom of speech while turning your neighbors and relatives into a bunch of squealers. Or how about that same government pretending a crime wave is merely a distraction from unseen and unnamed white terrorists. I think you already know that answer. The problem is, does it matter?


GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. She’s done more interviews than a hiring manager at and Wendy’s. Fox Business Correspondent Susan Li. He’s our number one source for names starting with J. Retired U.S. Marine Corps Bomb Technician and Fox News Contributor, Johnny Joey Jones. Three Js. Cheerleader, lawyer, pendant, she’s worn more hats than fans at the Kentucky Derby. “OUTNUMBERED” co-host, Emily Compagno.

And his animal tattoos are life sized. My massive sidekick and host of “NUFF SAID” on Fox Nation, Tyrus. Susan, welcome to the show. Always a pleasure to see you.


GUTFELD: You’re up too early in the morning. So I don’t see you then. What — you know, this — you’re at Fox Business. What kind of message is it when no one gets arrested or charged for looting?

LI: Well, we’re kind of used to double standards in Washington. Remember when that story broke that Nancy Pelosi is worth $150 million. And that’s because she’s been buying stock, her husband has been buying stock that has been affected by policy that she makes. But — now, if that happened on Wall Street, people would be thrown away, be put in jail, probably for the rest of their lives for white corporate crime.

But in D.C., you know, it’s this — it seems like a double standard for others, right? Members of Congress, you can go in and buy stock whenever you feel like.

GUTFELD: Right, right. So you have a double standard here then in which, you know, obviously, January 6th, these people go to jail, but a slow rolling crime wave, you could get away with anything. You could go in and shoplift.

LI: Right. Well, you know, my grandpa used to own a convenience store. So he was running away from Civil War. And that was how he made his new life here in the new land. And when I was little, I didn’t know it at the time. But he was actually — he was being robbed.


LI: I was a little kid. I didn’t know what was happening. He told me to go back into the kitchen. And, you know, just there.

GUTFELD: I remember that day.

LI: You were there.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. Yes.

LI: So my grandpa was here trying to make a new life, right?


LI: He’s trying to build a business. And when things are stolen, he loses money. It hurts him in the end.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

LI: Because the individuals are just trying to make a living, they gets hurt by shoplifting and crime.

GUTFELD: Then they leave, they close up the businesses, they leave and those businesses aren’t there. And then the towns or the communities slowly die, Emily. They slowly die. You actually, you know, were a cheerleader for the Raiders. So you’re used to defending criminals.


GUTFELD: Except for the Raiders.


GUTFELD: So anyway, you are — you are a lawyer and you are — what — why do you think there’s this double standard?

COMPAGNO: I don’t know. But it kills me to just as a human, I feel like you don’t even have to be an attorney to see the injustice here. And I think what’s hard for me to swallow as well as a criminal defense attorney, is the fact that the prosecutors are failing to do their job. The system exists in a certain way. So that it protects both sides. So that yes, the defendants are protected, but so are the victims. There are advocates and representatives of — representatives of everyone in the system in the court.

But here what we’re seeing is the complete erosion of that duty on the prosecutorial side. So you’re talking about the slow dying, I mean, we watched before our eyes, Portland burned to the ground essentially over 100 straight days of riots, and looting and fires. And of all of the federal crimes that were referred for prosecutions, the D.A. dropped half of them. And of those half none went to trial.

And instead of the ones that got any type of sentence, it was literally doing community service or “encouraging people to vote.” Those were for crimes like assaulting a Federal officer.


COMPAGNO: Burning down the federal building to the tune of $3 million. But, you know, earlier you mentioned revenge in your intro. And in those riots, I will never forget, one of those rioter sign said, we don’t want Biden, we want revenge.

GUTFELD: Right. Exactly. What’s up J-cubed? How are you? Happy birthday.


COMPAGNO: Happy birthday.

LI: Happy birthday.

JONES: How about that? I turned — I turned old enough to run for president today.

GUTFELD: Excellence.

JONES: Yes. But I’m not going to do it unless Tammy Duckworth does.


JONES: That way no one can see I used my legs to win and she doesn’t get to.


TYRUS: OK. I have to do this (INAUDIBLE) he likes joking around. You can laugh.

JONES: That was not a joke. That was not a joke.

TYRUS: No one here thought it was funny that he crossed his leg and then uncross it inside and relief. No one saw that. I thought it was funny. Sorry. Just putting it out there.

GUTFELD: Joe, I’m going to — I’m going to throw out a conspiracy theory that I came up with. So it’s probably true. How is it possible that all the protests and riots suddenly just went away and nothing was solved?

JONES: Well —

GUTFELD: You know what I mean? We got it. It was almost like it was a faucet that was turned on and then turned off.

JONES: I mean, coronavirus? There’s a lot of things that that getting exacerbated and go away and then maybe come back when it’s politically advantageous. Here’s a really good one. The war in Afghanistan, we didn’t find a 20-year war, we fought 10 two-year wars because we had midterms, presidential elections, right? But just on this topic —

GUTFELD: Good point.

JONES: You know, you said earlier, you’re like, hey, how — why does this double standard exists? Well, it’s obvious why it exists. It’s an political intimidation. It’s exactly what it is. You cannot — you cannot create an argument to me that that why don’t — just mala — I can’t remember —

JONES: LEGO model, the Capitol Building?

LI: On the left.

JONES: Mazel Liam to corruption.

GUTFELD: Oh, there you go.

JONES: Damn. I would have gotten it.


JONES: So, you cannot tell me that that is more of a symbol of democracy than every town square across the country.


JONES: And that’s what bothers me so much. But here’s the difference. The people that exist in those quiet town squares are just the people that go about their lives. They are rule followers, so they’re easy to punish. But when people aren’t rule followers, they’re not easy to punish. And that’s the problem. The problem is that this — the message was clear. You can come for them, but don’t come for us. Don’t come to Capitol Hill, go to small towns. We don’t care about that. But don’t come for us. Don’t come for the ruling class.

GUTFELD: That really pisses me off the way you frame it.


GUTFELD: I mean, it’s true, which is just —

TYRUS: The real as it gets.


COMPAGNO: Nailed it.

GUTFELD: Yes. That pisses the hell out of me. Because I know the — I know that JJJ, Triple J is right. I don’t know what I’m saying, Tyrus. You know what, you said, you said I made a really good point. As the angry black male, that consistency is what matters.

TYRUS: Yes. But we’re in the midst of a con, and it’s piggybacking on what he’s saying. Here’s the thing, we’re playing the same game, we’ve just changed the rules. Now you have people coming out. And unfortunately, most of the time, they’re people of color who have been elected by masses of different colors saying that things are as bad as they ever wore, you can’t prove it, we can’t deny it.

And if we challenge it, we’re part of the problem. So then you can go ahead and influence people who just want something to burn down. And you’re not concerned with what the reactions of it is. And the more that they do it, the more things you can say. And then at some point, when the jig is up, and you’ve got enough money because everyone who’s speaking about the injustice of this country, is making a lot of money on speaker fees and donations to the cause.

And the millions and eventually the trillions to make all this money to solve a riddle that they already know the answer to. They’re just taking the playbook one at a time when things were really bad. When it was Jim Crow era, when there was a huge difference when — if a brother walked into the store and he stole a piece of bread to feed his family, he gets 20 years, no parole. Now, if the white — and a white person does it, walks into the thing does the same thing he would have got a, well, he needed food.

He needed it for his family. So, I subtract him for having the courage to go in there and take what’s his for his family. We just changed the roles now. Now it’s white America that’s the problem because they didn’t want equality, they want opportunity and advantage. When you have opportunity advantage. You can profit from it. And as long as it doesn’t happen in their yard where everyone gets crazy sentences you can — they can eat themselves and then you can profit from it. And that’s what we’re seeing this country. We just — we have just switched roles.

GUTFELD: We’ve flipped —

TYRUS: Flipped the script. And white people unfortunately have been conditioned not to fight back. And you guys need to fight back and I just end with this. I’m so sorry that your grandfather left the Civil War, came all the way to America lo and behold to find out it’s worse than a Civil War.

GUTFELD: Yes. Exactly.

TYRUS: So sorry.

GUTFELD: Such a good point.


TYRUS: That’s the woke thing.


JONES: Where are you at?

GUTFELD: It’s worst thing since —

TYRUS: It’s worst that he got here. This is worse than when I left. Damn it. Sorry. I’m sorry that you guys had to deal with it.

GUTFELD: All right. Up next. They said screw the civilians while their private security cost million.


GUTFELD: Were these mayor’s pretending when they cut police spending? Yes, they slashed police budgets but their own protection they decided to fudge it. This one’s going to piss you off too. According to a new report from Forbes Magazine. Don’t miss there — this year swimsuit issue, Joey. The cover at Stuart Varney and a thong. Mayors and other officials in roughly 20 cities around the country defunded police well spending millions on security details for themselves in their defense. It’s gotten really dangerous lately.

The one thing these cities have in common, they’re all being run into the ground by Democratic mayor’s and nonprofit group filed Freedom of Information Act requests and found which city offices had police details and how much it costs. Some low lights. In Chicago, home of murder. The city spent 3.4 million for 22 officers last year to guard unnamed city officials. Baltimore spent 3.6 million for 14 cops to cover the mayor, the state’s attorney and the police commissioner.

And in S.F., the city spent 2.6 million last year to protect Mayor London Breed. So she’s protected. But of course the stores aren’t. Here’s two dudes casually walking out of a TJ Maxx in L.A. with arms full of crap. It looks like they’re boarding a flight. If they got any more relaxed, you’d have to carry them as well. And why not? A new law makes the apps below 950 bucks worth of stuff, a misdemeanor instead of a felony.

So it seems California is now number one in America for theft of terrorism. Here’s the human hairstyle Gavin Newsome today on his crumbling state.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There are some people that say some of the policies championed by Democrats like Prop 47 others are making crime worse. What do you say to that?

GOV. GAVIN NEWSOM (D-CA): Well, the evidence doesn’t back it up. Last three decades, we’ve actually seen a significant decline in crime in the state, you’re seeing crime increase in red states that had no criminal justice reform commensurate with the crime rates that we’re seeing here in California.


GUTFELD: Something tells me if you stop considering crimes worth pursuing, of course, you’re going to have a documented decline in crime because you’re not documenting it. Fact is there’s more substance in that guy’s hair than what’s underneath it.


GUTFELD: Emily, do these mayors and leaders deserve security if they deny it for others?

COMPAGNO: No. You guys, in Seattle Mayor Durkin, she has to two. Two details that protect her. The — a uniform division and then whatever sort of comes with being a mayor. She’s a $7.5 million house. And here’s the thing of that uniformed detail. The regular officers of Seattle Police Department in the precinct if one calls in sick or calls out, they prioritize her details still. They won’t take away cops from that.

So, it leaves that the actual precinct — the actual precinct and protection of citizens even more lean and understaffed than defunding already does. And my favorite quote because there’s no cell service up there in her neighborhood, apparently, and there’s no bathroom. So one, one cop said literally, and I quote, “You just sit there and stare and think about how (BLEEP) your life is for four or five hours.”

So then the residents socialist cycle or city council is to want, she led a protest up to the mayor’s house chanting about how they need even more communism there in the city. So then it got real and the mayor came out called it a riot. And then they sued each other, so it was like this crazy infighting because yes, when it comes to their front door is only when the mayor’s protest. And final point, I just have to say that Adam (INAUDIBLE) guy behind like finding all this stuff out and he’s constantly exposing the government’s payments and everything.

The payroll and all the numbers. Everywhere that our tax dollars go. And that’s the level of transparency that we will never unfortunately get from that white domed mausoleum.

GUTFELD: I felt like I just watched an episode of Real Housewives of Seattle.


GUTFELD: Right? I got one chuckle out of that. Our audience is on drugs.


TYRUS: Well, I got a chuckle because she pretty much described my entire bodyguard career. And a lot of times staring in the rearview mirror going you were better than this.



TYRUS: You’re watching someone else live their life. And that’s what you’re doing. Yes. There’s a moment where you throw someone down the stairs. Yes, there’s a moment when you get to beat people up. For the most part though it’s you staring in a mirror going, I had a plan.

GUTFELD: But the movie — the movie —

JONES: It’s like being in the Marine Corps.

GUTFELD: But the movie — my body —


TYRUS: Yes. That’s not real. No one sleeps with the bodyguard unless they’re really mentally destroyed.

GUTFELD: Patty Hearst married her bodyguard.

TYRUS: Yes, they all — yes, they all do. Not the jobs I got. So —

GUTFELD: Snoop didn’t fall in love with you?

TYRUS: No. Snoop didn’t fall in love with me. Neither did Boss Lady.


LI: Who dates her bodyguard?


LI: Heidi Klum did, right?

TYRUS: OK. The point of the show is not to —


LI: Hot things.

TYRUS: — tell me out. You don’t get to do — you can’t — I’m the expert.


JONES: Bad at being a bodyguard.

TYRUS: As far as I’m concerned. No one ever fell in love in the bodyguard job except Kevin Costner and he’s Kevin (BLEEP) Costner. So who wouldn’t fall in love with him?

GUTFELD: It’s true. He is gorgeous.

TYRUS: And you are all racist for calling me out on obviously my issue would never being loved as a bodyguard. Shame on you all.

GUTFELD: Joey, you said you’re going to run for president. This is a great example of why it’s great to be a politician because you get —

TYRUS: You can’t run. Sorry.

GUTFELD: You get elected to become immune from the laws you enact.

JONES: Just trying to hold together (INAUDIBLE)


GUTFELD: It’s falling apart.


JONES: — me running right now, like I’m running there. I am. That’s all (INAUDIBLE) I missed that question. So I’ll just —

GUTFELD: Yes. Just say what you want to say. Let’s get to the C-block.

JONES: Second big word. I was — I had a third one out and forgot it. Listen, it goes right back to the — to the previous argument. Rules (INAUDIBLE) for me. You know, don’t — we’ll take away your guns, we’ll take away your freedom. We’ll make you wear a mask. We’ll take away your money and give it to somebody else. But don’t try to apply those rules to me.


JONES: But at the end of the day, you know, you get what you asked for. If the — if the new rule is 950 bucks, I mean like it’s a gallon of milk less than 950 bucks in California anymore. Like that’s going to be the — the in result is everything’s going to be priced above this arbitrary threshold that these idiots in California have created.

GUTFELD: Shoplifting inflation, it’s going to be a new financial term.

JONES: You’re going to think the DOD is buying everything, although it’s not $100 and the —

LI: No one needs protection though. I think they should use that money and help protect those elderly Asian women.

GUTFELD: Women. Yes.

LI: The — did you see the —

GUTFELD: On Canal Street, Saturday, 10:30 in the morning. Guy goes in, pushes this — she’s going to die.

LI: Yes. The Asian mom was in a coma is probably never going to wake up.



LI: And she was mugged in a subway.

GUTFELD: At 10:30 in the morning.

LI: Using that $23 million to protect them.

GUTFELD: Still haven’t (INAUDIBLE)

JONES: Right. Every one of them, a pistol. I’m sorry. Can I say that on T.V.? That’s what I believe.

GUTFELD: Yes, you can.

JONES: That’s the second amendment. Every one of us has had the right and opportunity to carry a firearm in an armed society is a polite society. I don’t want anyone to get shot but if somebody has to get shot, let it be the people who try to kill an elderly person for no good reason.

GUTFELD: Yes. And I’m not joking. The guys — the guys still out there. All right, up next, he said unite as the left moves further from the right.


GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Is President Biden doing nothing but dividing? And although he said he’d unite, he keeps picking fights? Yes, the country’s on the skids, and so are his adlibs. He’s been unifier in chief for the past six months and he says his administration is delivering on their promises. But, but, his extreme hyperbole and bizarre moments have done more to divide than bring the country together. The Hill points out his unscripted remarks are starting to haunt him, comments like these.


JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: The last thing we need is Neanderthal thinking that in the meantime, everything’s fine.

21st century Jim Crow assault is real.

We’re facing the most significant test of our democracy since the Civil War. That’s not hyperbole.

What do you, what do you do all the time?

Look, the only pandemic we have is among the unvaccinated and that’s, and they’re killing people.


GUTFELD: Wow. Meanwhile, Biden’s CNN sympathizers are already giving him cover six months in saying, “He can’t magically reverse months of politicization — I hate that word of the pandemic, by Republicans. Biden also has little capacity to drown out the anti-democratic rantings of Trump. He’s not there anymore. Trump’s gone.

Is (BLEEP), it’s not so much a failure to unify us now, as it was a lie to begin with. Like all progressives, they ride into office on promises of unity and equality. But once in charge, that costume is discarded, and it’s back to rewarding their side while demonizing the other. A house divided cannot stand, and neither can the press after a third bowl of ice cream. Emily who’s really in charge here? Satan?

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: That terrifies me, it’s like Angel Heart. I think, I don’t know, because I used to think it was the vice president like scheming, but I actually think that there’s a lot more people in position who are essentially creating his lines for him. And we know because coming out of Jen Psaki’s statements, where she said that he is sometimes he is sometimes said, like, we I want to weigh in, and this one actually is for me, you guys. We’ve heard it from his mouth as well.

And I just have to say that in his statement, sort of decrying Facebook when he was like, I mean, they shouldn’t take it personally. But they should use this to essentially combat the misinformation that yes, is, in fact killing people that dovetails flatly in with President Trump’s lawsuit against these digital platforms, essentially, that they are beholden to slash coerced by this particular administration, which forces them to continue censoring the American people not only with facts, but also with their public response to it.

GUTFELD: A lot of words there, Susan.


COMPAGNO: I don’t know.

LI: Isn’t that what we do?


LI: We speak a lot of words every day.

COMPAGNO: Thank you. Thank you, Susan.

GUTFELD: A lot of words. Emily says a lot of words. It’s a compliment.

LI: No, but getting back to what Wall Street would probably want Biden — stop making me laugh I’m trying to talk here.

GUTFELD: I’m sorry.

LI: I think Wall Street would probably want him to stick to script, you know, infrastructure. Remember, we wouldn’t sign an infrastructure deal unless it came with a lot more dough. Let’s — I’m boring you already.

GUTFELD: No, I’m not — you’re not. Infrastructure is exactly what this show is about.

LI: Your 401Ks are important, by the way.

GUTFELD: You know it? I don’t look at my 401K.

LI: You don’t?


LI: Because it’s too big?

GUTFELD: No, you’re not supposed to look at it. I was told to never look at it because it’ll, you’ll you’re not supposed to think about it.

LI: You’re not supposed to look at it day to day, but probably over a year you should. And reallocation —

GUTFELD: It’s kind of like when I look at my abs, you know, I check every six months.

COMPAGNO: Yes, like a watched pot never boils.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. Your 401K is like the financial version of your abs.

LI: Chiseled.

GUTFELD: Chiseled.

LI: Yes.

GUTFELD: Exactly. I don’t even know where we are. I will say this that I thought Biden was supposed to be the unifier. That’s what he ran on. What happened? Where did he go?

LI: Well, I have to say you have to give him props that on the infrastructure deal. I love infrastructure. Because I care about stock markets. I care about where the economy is going. So, yes, reaching across the aisle, spending on 5G finally and getting our cell phones working, that’s great.


LI: But in terms of everything else, there might be some need to cross more bridges.

GUTFELD: Very deeply. You can’t cross a bridge if you don’t have infrastructure. See, I brought that together, Tyrus.


GUTFELD: Thank you. Thank you.

TYRUS: It’s a lot of words sitting here tonight.

GUTFELD: Yes, there’s been a lot of words.

TYRUS: And her words confuse me and I’m trying not to get aggressive. Infrastructure, mausoleum, whatever weird stuff comes out of her mouth.

And you bring it up abs. Like my 401K my abs are hidden for a reason. I couldn’t even imagine what it’d be like to go to work every day with this face and abs. It’s too much, you know, what I’m saying?

GUTFELD: Exactly.

TYRUS: You got tickets to the gun show, but it’s all beer barrel after that. I’m good with that.

GUTFELD: You can’t overpower people like that.

TYRUS: And you can’t have it all. I’m OK with it.

GUTFELD: But you know, it’s why I decided to remain short.

TYRUS: I you know, I heard that I heard the stories.

GUTFELD: I could have grown. Yes, I could have grown what I said you know what? I’m going to stay at 5’9″.

TYRUS: That’s right.

GUTFELD: You stay at 5’9″.

TYRUS: This is a choice.

GUTFELD: This is a choice. Joey, last word to you, do you have anything to add to this conversation?

JOHNNY JOEY JONES, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I don’t have a clue what the hell we’re talking about.

TYRIS: Infrastructure. Civil War. Mausoleum. Go.

JONES: You guys have it all wrong. He was never supposed to unite the country.


JONES: You see the people who call him the great uniter, believe that half the country is beyond repair already. We’re the horribles. We’re evil. We’re terrible. We’re not worth the breath we take. He was supposed to unite the Bernie Bros with the Clinton deep state. And for all intents and purposes, he’s done it. He united the group of people he was supposed to unite, and the rest of us are just supposed to sit back and complain about it on this show.

GUTFELD: It he’s got the woke activists behind him because he just, days as long as you keep feeding the workers and they don’t see what you’re really doing.

TYRUS: But they’re sharpening their knives.

GUTFELD: Yes, they will.

TYRUS: The progressives are going to turn on. He’s not going to give him what — his moderate ness that’s why he’s blurting and yelling the old white man in him that wants you off his grass and wants to take his nap. But you’re playing your dang gangster rap music across the street is starting to come out and that’s not in line with the progressive. They’re there. They’re going to split. It’s a civil war.

GUTFELD: We shall, we shall see. Its most sensible thing I’ve said today. Up next, the campaign that spent like rock stars paying for hotels, limos and bars.


GUTFELD: It seems Captain Farty sure loves to party. FEC records show Eric Swalwell’s campaign spend $1600 at liquor stores. I love that. $10,000 on limos, and $20k on a luxury hotel where his wife works at. It’s the disclosure that has critics saying this campaign is off the hook, bro.

It’s not known how much of this festivities Swalwell part took in between investigating phony collusion or working with a Chinese spy. So, let’s check in with our Party Correspondents at Swalwell Headquarters. Guys, tell me what’s happening.


JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: It’s crazy down here, Greg. This is the biggest party since Panama Breach. Schumer put your pants back o OAC. Nobody cares right now. You could you got to get this great guy got to run. It’s my turn to kickstand dog.

GUTFELD: Johnny, you work for nonprofits? Is it mostly getting drunk and eating steak?

JONES: No, I wish. I didn’t find those nonprofits to come fortunately. There’s a few people in politics easier to hate than Eric Swalwell. You know, he’s the left’s Duncan Hunter, except he doesn’t have the redeeming quality of having served in the military.


JONES: This is a frat boy who made it into, into politics. That’s OK. I don’t hold that against him. But at some point, you got to actually be a politician. Not just an idiot. Maybe not. I don’t know. There’s a bunch of proof.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. I think Gideon is part of the criteria. Tyrus, what do you make of this? Hold

TYRUS: Hold on, let me get my Swalwell number. To look calm. Thank you for asking Greg. Weird, I didn’t think I was going to win. So we just party like a rock star. I got to be honest, I probably wouldn’t do the same thing. I couldn’t be trusted with campaign funds. Because I’m like, yo, let’s go buy a boat. You know, many voters vote for guys with boats. I would convince my team that we all need boats and jet skis, instead of going to the event to talk about fiscal responsibility. So, I get it.

GUTFELD: You can gain your yacht.

TYRUS: Yes, but at least, at least own it.


$10,000 and limousines. He does strike me as a phony. I’m not a bright one. And how dare you say Fred. He wanted to know Fred. That’s why now.

LI: If he had the finest department like we do here. I get called out if I ordered two pizzas. Yes. Uh, do you really eat two pizzas by yourself? I can’t ask. Where’s the receipt? Oh, yes. That’s hilarious.

TYRUS: Wait, they pay for your food.


JONES: Hold up, you can order pizza?

LI: Once in a while. If you’re —

GUTFELD: Why are there —


TYRUS: 401Ks pizza? I get nothing but (INAUDIBLE).


COMPAGNO: So, I looked up in his expenditures. And apparently, he spent $1100 in seven trips to a liquor store by Capitol Hill. And I did the math via Google and it was $164 each trip and my question was like, is that a lot or a little? Like, is this guy getting like a 200 bottle of champagne for himself every night? Is this guy getting 30 packs of Coors Light —

JONES: 80 white claws at White claws. Because he wasn’t in a (INAUDBLE) to your point. I just hope that he is 20 percent that’s my hope. So that’s your water stuff.

GUTFELD: Anyway, I don’t mind the guy party because it means he does less work.

COMPAGNO: We pay his salary that’s the thing. These guys keep getting away with doing this like that’s our money.

GUTFELD: All right. Good point, but we have to move on Emily. Coming up, according to the polls, wokeness is on a roll.


GUTFELD: Is society broke if a third of us are woke? One-third of registered voters in a new poll say they consider themselves woke. The wokest of all the men, 35 percent of whom identify with woke as compared to 30 percent of women which is weird because I thought gender didn’t exist.

But are men really more woke than women? Or is it just like bathing or doing charity work? Just another ploy to improve their dating odds? You can almost see it.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, what’s going on? I’m Stan. You know I’m something of an ally of intersectional anti-gaslit identity politics, frankly I think it’s time we and systemic internalized toxic prejudice in this country and colonialist cultural appropriation. I mean, heck, we even shop at the same store. Can I buy you a drink?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That’s so heteronormative? You’re embarrassing.



GUTFELD: Are men pretending to be woke, Tyrus, to get girls?

TYRUS: Yes, they are 100 percent. I can remember in my college, I was an astronomer because I like the girl in astrology. And I was like, yes, stars and stuff.

GUTFELD: You like the girl?

TYRUS: From Astrology, but I was — yes, I didn’t even bother to research what it was telling her, oh, let’s go see the Big Dipper, and she — oh, I meant, the stars. The big in the stars.

JONES: That’s, that’s, that’s a wrestler the Big Dipper?

TYRUS: Yes, it’s not going to — it’s not —

LI: Well, that’s a pick up line right there.

GUTFELD: Yes, what do you think? What do you think about this? Do you buy this poll?

LI: No, it’s just men overestimating themselves, right?


LI: Usually, it’s men that, oh, they usually apply for jobs and they’re not qualified for. Women usually don’t do that.


GUTFELD: That’s a very good point. That, oh, yes, of course, I’m woke. Although, I bet some of them thought meant this literally, like, yes, I’m awake.

TYRUS: Yes. I was up at 7:00, bro.

GUTFELD: I was up at 7:00. I’ve been woke since this morning. Joey, Joey, you don’t need to be woke.

JONES: I don’t know how to be woke. I don’t even understand it. Listen, I think what it is, is you’re so afraid of being canceled that there’s a soul subgroup of people, I guess they’re getting bigger. It’s like they just inherently ascribe to it because they feel they have no choice. I’ve never been so insecure that I made being insecure a personality, and that’s what this is. Yes, you don’t have to be masculine and beat your chest and all the things like you know, like Tyrus and myself and guys — You know, we don’t have to be, you know, you don’t have to be that way. But don’t demonize it. Don’t attack it. Don’t say it’s wrong.


JONES: You know, like the things that are worthwhile. The things that make you bleed. You know, go, go use your hands and build something. That’s not being counter woke. That’s just being a man.

GUTFELD: There you go. I don’t know about you, Emily, but that sounded delicious.

COMPAGNO: So, the thing that I thought was sort of funny about that same poll, though, is that 50 percent of those people also said that wokeness is dividing the country.


COMPAGNO: Totally stoking. Like unrest and everyone’s despair and all of this.

GUTFELD: I’ve been pushing that narrative but it has been. And really you guys the term the term woke as, as co-opted by the, the progressive left, it just means enlightenment. And that’s that comes down from that condescension that flows from the Democrat Party which is essentially, “oh, we know more than you. Yes, we’re more enlightened.” And now it’s we’re more woke but if you call yourself that, then you’re the last one to know.

GUTFELD: Woke is now become something negative the way hippies, I think it’s now remember when you guys were children, but that was what he did early 60s. You know, people call people hippies. I think now woke is now the hippies of 2021. That’s my theory. And I’m afraid we’re out of time, so I’m right. Don’t go away, we’ll be right back.


GUTFELD: We are out of time. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks to Susan Li, Joey Jones, Emily Compagno, Tyrus, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld and I love you America.

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