This is a rush transcript of “Gutfeld!” on December 9, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Happy Thursday, everyone. What a great show we got tonight. As you know, just hours after our All American Christmas tree was torched by a babbling madman. Not to be confused with Geraldo. A new tree was erected and it looks absolutely fabulous. So a big thank you to that adorable tiny elf Dana Perino and her tiny little elf friends. They worked all nights.
It’s almost as fabulous looking as Gerald Ford Jr. Yes. Like to welcome his support to his first time on the show. You need a new agent. This show kills more jobs than China. But it’s a tribute to the spirit of the people who work here and deliver this magnificent show. You can burn down the damn tree and we’re going to just put up another and by we, I mean not me. Other people did it. I didn’t put it back up.
The only thing I know how to put up is a two-way bathroom mirror. But also just hours after the Fox Christmas tree was torched by a babbling madman, the babbling madman was released. CNN anchors now face more punishment than arsonists. You win universe. Also, here’s the funny side story. A photographer told the New York Post that the arsonist had allegedly exposed himself to reporters outside the Ghislaine Maxwell trial in Manhattan last week.
OK, that’s not a funny side story. But at least we found something Joe DeVito and the arsonist have in common. Thanks to this madman, we’re learning how many crimes you can get away with. Showing your junk and burning people stuff. What Kilmeade calls a Tuesday. That I won’t say the Christmas creeps name because that’s what he really wants. And also it’s very hard to pronounce. Is it — is it Doocy or is it is Doocy, but it’s true, it’s Doocy.
The is the arsonist who torch the Fox News Christmas tree was freed after his arraignment on Wednesday night. Because his charges were not eligible for bail under new liberal reform laws. He has a better chance of facing consequences from Smokey the Bear. Who could have seen this coming? Well, we all did.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JUDGE JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: This whole issue has to do with the revolving door of justice.
JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: The guy that lit the tree on fire is probably going to get out today or tomorrow because it’s not a felony arson for what he did —
(CROSSTALK)
PIRRO: Well, it is a — it’s an offense under New York law where he has to be bailed.
GUTFELD: So he’s going to be out, he might be out right now.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Uh-hmm. It’s weird to live in a world where you can actually predict the bad news. But all you get is a shrug in return. Crime is like being the guy who cleans the restrooms at The View. You clean it up and it’s just worse the next day. But it’s not like we weren’t warned. It’s like a weatherman who says hey, you see that category five off the coast of New Jersey and moving west at 25 miles per hour?
I think you should all get the hell out of there. And no one moves. That’s our government. You can say to them, look, you’re releasing FINS that are about to reoffend. And like Kat confronted with a simple math problem. They just stare blankly. And then of course, the FINS reoffend. I could go through the examples of the violent felons sprung from jail, thanks to bail reform, but there are so many of them that would take up the entire show and bleed literally into the next hour.
And the last thing I want to do is piss off evil Shannon Bream. But it’s old news. Another violent criminal is let loose to beat up another woman sucker punch and other elderly Asian burned down a Christmas tree. That’s how it works. The justice system exists now to keep criminals safe from consequences. I mean, here’s a typical scene playing out all over.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Good to see you again. We’ll have you out of here in a jiff.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That’d be great. I have a robbery scheduled for 2:00 today. So —
DEVITO: Well, it is a busy time of year for everyone. We’ll just run down your pending charges, larceny, assault, shoplifting, vandalism, public intoxication.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, you almost forgot indecent exposure.
DEVITO: Drug dealing, drug possession, weapons possession, unpaid parking tickets, arson and mail fraud. And since none of these are bail offenses, you’re free to leave. Happy holidays.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That’s great officer. Thank you.
DEVITO: Did you forget your mask?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, no, I don’t wear one.
DEVITO: No mask. You son of a bitch.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wait, what? What?
DEVITO: We’re trying to keep the city safe.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Now — so now, the Christmas creep is free to roam and burn down other stuff. So where do you go? Well, there is that 9:00 p.m. open — slot open at CNN. I kid, there’s no evidence this guy groped anyone. But we all know where he went. He’s now the head writer at Colbert. He turned in five cereal box tops to get the job. Last night Colbert lamely joked about the burning Christmas tree that it’s getting its own show on Fox.
But if that were true, it would instantly get better ratings than Colbert. That’s because a Christmas tree fire is way more entertaining than a dumpster fire. Remember this?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That might be a worse crime than arson. Hell, even in today’s legal climate, a judge would refuse him bail for that felony. But at least he’s trying to be funny and failing. What CNN’s excuse? Here’s the cranky cricket muncher using the arson attack to slam Fox News.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BRIANNA KEILAR, CNN ANCHOR: Now no one was injured in this incident. But they could have been this is a serious incident. Obviously, it’s incredibly scary to feel that your workplace is under attack. Unless your workplace is the capital, then according to many, many Fox hosts, it’s not such a big deal.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Oh my god. Only the psychos at CNN could make an arson attack into — an attack on its target. For CNN, the attack is merely an opportunity to wag your swollen finger at the people who are kicking your ass every night. How imbecilic, yes, arson is indeed bed, but you didn’t care about January 6. What a miserable wretch. You got any dumber she could fill Chris Cuomo’s seats. Justice seat.
So the last few days, it show you what’s good and what’s bad about the world. This is stuff Colbert or CNN don’t understand. Along with others who are walled off from the consequences of unchecked crime. Thanks to a progressive perversion of incentives, criminals react to them, as you would expect them to. These people are lawless, but they’re not dumb, meaning of consequences no longer exists for crime, they will commit more crime.
And prison was once the disincentive and it worked. Which is why we got rid of it. We are now pissing on the grave of common sense. Now we were lucky that no one died that the night of that — of the arson. But I prefer counting on justice and not luck. It’s why I avoid casinos. So the madman walks, which sends a message to others like him. Repercussions no longer exists for the most disgusting behavior whether it’s assault, murder or arson.
But there’s good news, the tree is back up. And like me, it looks great. And if you keep burning it down, we’ll just put up another. That’s the real holiday spirit. And we need more of it now than ever.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.
GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. If he were a bear attack, I’d beat him off in the woods. Fox News Contributor, Harold Ford Jr. If laughter is the best medicine, he’s definitely not FDA approved. Writer and comedian Joe DeVito. Tickets to his shows are a lot like movie endings. You can’t give them away. Comedian Joe Machi. And she’s looking forward to not remembering the holidays. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. Harold, welcome to the show.
HAROLD FORD JR., FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: What a show already.
GUTFELD: Yes. It is. So now I know you’re definitely not running for president. Because this will ruin your chances. Has America lost the plot if — if this continues we’re done as a country because this is kind of the thing that holds us together. It’s just law and order, right?
FORD: At our very core.
GUTFELD: Yes.
FORD: And, you know, one of the reasons you have bail when someone is arrested because you want — you want to keep them in jail.
GUTFELD: Yes.
FORD: And if they’re going to get out there has to be some — there has to be some skin they have in a game or others have in the game. I thought what happened to capital was terrible. I thought what happened on here was terrible. What happened on the grounds right — not far from us. And for him to be out and for us to have — to have pictures posted around and security to ensure he didn’t come up and try to threaten or do anything to those outside and including you.
Something’s wrong with the system. Bill reform trying to ensure that nonviolent offenders and those who may end up serving more time than — if they were convicted for the — for the offense is a smart thing. But a violent offender, coddling violence, encourage enabling violent offenders. That’s not Democrat. That’s not Republican to your point. That’s the core of our society.
GUTFELD: Yes.
FORD: We’re rule of — we’re a nation that is governed by a rule of law.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. We can’t have discussions or disagree with each other if we’re too scared to go outside. You know, Joe, I thought it was kind of interesting. When I saw the pictures of the arsonist. He’s better dressed than you. I thought that was interesting. Do you notice he had like — he had a number of interesting jackets to wear?
DEVITO: Yes, he was very fashion forward.
GUTFELD: He was. He was.
DEVITO: Yes.
GUTFELD: Meanwhile, you’re dressed like Judd Hirsch in Taxi.
DEVITO: The first of many outdated references to come tonight.
GUTFELD: Yes. My references are for my audience. I’m not going to like talk about TikTok videos. Thank you.
DEVITO: Greg. That’s just the relief factor talking. You don’t really mean it.
GUTFELD: You know, if you snort it, it’s just faster acting. Learn that from Charlie Kirk. I’m kidding. I’m joking. That’s a joke. What was the question?
DEVITO: I don’t think there was a question.
GUTFELD: The question is what is wrong with this world, Joe?
DEVITO: Yes. It’s really awful to think that, you know, we have people not just this crazy guy did this thing. It’s bad enough that he’s — he does not seem to have suffered any penalty for it so far.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: But there are people who are celebrating the burning down of a religious symbol, beloved by millions of children around the world.
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
DEVITO: And you see this is something that all ha ha, take that, Fox News.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: It really shows this world that we live in, where things are upside down and this guy appears to be mentally ill. He’s a danger to himself and others. Now what about the Thrive New York City money? They spent about a billion of that turned into a slush fund for Mayor Lurch’s wife.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: And, you know, and I think about it, maybe there’s no greater sign of mental illness than marrying Bill de Blasio because she should just keep that money.
GUTFELD: It’s funny. OK. Christmas tree is not necessarily a religious symbol, but it’s kind of become one. It’s a festive religious symbol. And you’re right. There was really no outrage about it. Fox was sad because it was so beautiful. But there was no outrage. I imagine if it were a BLM banner. Holy (BLEEP) Joe, if they ever found out what you did, Machi. Machi, this guy exposed himself and we find out that must be legal too.
JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: Just so everyone’s clear, the arsonist exposed himself not me. I just don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. I don’t like the revolving door of justice, Greg, because I don’t even like revolving doors. They’re my second leading reason for trips to the emergency room after falling off treadmills and ahead of mixing bleach and ammonia. But to yes and Joe’s point, I looked up as to — on statistica.com, a Web site that handles statistics that back in 1990, when you’re — when your references were only 10, the government spent 45 billion on mental health.
And in 2020, it was 238.4 4 billion in mental health. And to me, it seems like the only thing less accountable than criminals is government mental health funding.
GUTFELD: It is so true. Where does this stuff go? Because if you walk up and down New York City streets, you see it’s a menagerie of mental illness. How about that for a bit of alliteration, Kat? A menagerie, if you will of mental illness. Menagerie.
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Great job.
GUTFELD: Thank you very much. Thank you so much. I love how CNN use the arson to like go, but remember what you guys did. It’s amazing. Anyway.
TIMPF: YEs. It is — it is — I don’t know if it’s amazing. You can kind of expect it because also, I don’t know anybody here or elsewhere that didn’t say that January 6 was bad.
GUTFELD: I know. Exactly.
TIMPF: I’ve said it so many times. And I feel like I have to say it again now. It was bad guys. I think it was horrible.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Because everybody wants to — I don’t know where this narrative came from that we don’t think it’s bad.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: And yes, the Christmas tree thing, I think it was still remarkable. But again, huge day for arsonists.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: There was this like — just like a symbol of whatever love and whatever’s — I’m not really a Christmas gal. Like I don’t want to set it on fire but, you know, whatever it is. It was also a very expensive one. It was like half a million dollars, he completely torches that he gets to go home?
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: That’s — I mean, if I were an arsonist which I am definitely not, I would be very excited.
GUTFELD: Well, the thing is, I believe like setting fire to the tree is no different than setting fire to a trashcan like if you start a fire in a trash can because there’s no human potential of being in it. So unless, you know, you’re like —
TIMPF: There’s always — there’s human potential being anyway.
GUTFELD: Yes. But that’s why, that’s why. So, even a cost is not relevant. It’s amazing, isn’t it?
TIMPF: Yes.
DEVITO: Yes. And, you know, and people forget that because firefighters do such a great job that even for something like that, that they got into control very quickly. Someone could have easily died. It was a blaze. It’s very dangerous.
GUTFELD: Yeah, it was. But, you know what, I got to tell you. We got a great hour of programming out of The Five. So burn those trees. No, I’m kidding. That’s a joke. But it really was nice. We had a big crowd out there. It was quite enjoyable. We also had — it was catered. So I had like pigs in the blanket. I love pigs in a blanket. Yes. All right. Coming up. Jussie Smollett was a two-bid actor were his big lies are as big as a tractor.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: He wants starred on Empire and turned out to be a big old liar. Disgraced actor, is there any other kind? Jussie Smollett was found guilty of five counts of disorderly conduct earlier this evening in his hate crime hoax. He was on trial in Chicago for faking an attack on himself in 2019, creating a phony story claiming that MAGA hat wearing assailants beat him up, tied a noose around his neck because he was black and gay.
It sounded so outlandish. It had to be fake, and very much like Kat’s hair. It was. The jury finding him guilty — found him guilty today after eight hours of deliberations. Earlier Smollett even took the stand in his own defense saying, “There was no hoax.” That’s a strong defense. But he couldn’t act his way out of this one. He now faces up to three years in prison. But most experts say he’ll probably just get probation and community service.
All right. I’ll go to you, Joe, first. What’d you think of the verdict?
DEVITO: I don’t think it could have gone any other way.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: I want to know what that six charge was that he seems to have not been found guilty.
GUTFELD: Oh, do you know that?
FORD: I don’t know.
DEVITO: Yes. Because he — certainly, he’s not a good actor. And we found out he’s not a very good director neither. And he certainly, he’s not a good casting agent because first white supremacist could he have gotten to bigger blacker guys to play the role? I mean —
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: Were were Shaquille O’Neal and Karl Malone not available for this? And his special effects. His noose look like a piece of linguini around his neck.
GUTFELD: I know. And the best thing about the news is that he had it under the collar.
DEVITO: Yes.
GUTFELD: Who puts a news under the — like the (INAUDIBLE) we’re going to church later.
TIMPF: I think it was nice.
GUTFELD: But yes, it’s funny. The Nigerians could be accused of cultural appropriation. Those roles were meant for white racist.
DEVITO: Exactly, exactly. And even when they challenged him on that and he said — he said, look, I had a scratch under my eye. And you see these two gigantic, that the two of them against one, it could have been 30 Jussie Smollett against one of those, and they still would have kicked his ass. So, I’m so glad that we’re not having a discussion now of how he got away with this and the impact of that.
He’s a terrible person. He created a lot of very bad energy and he could be looking at a seriously a couple of days of probation committees.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes. And then a reality show called I’m Back with Jussie Smollett. I never lied. This is a vindication other Joe, for Nigerians.
DEVITO: Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: — a bad rap with the e-mails.
DEVITO: You know, we can only hope that canceled culture doesn’t ruin their acting career. But yes and Joe’s point, I relate to Jussie Smollett because I faked that I’ve won a number of fights, in fact. In fact, all the fights I’ve ever won are fake. But they’d never happened. But if I cast those two guys as my adversaries I’d like, they got a few shots in. But man, that really gives actors a bad — a bad name just like — just like actors give their kids bad names.
GUTFELD: Nicely done.
FORD: This guy is good.
GUTFELD: Kat, I think that’s Smollett has kind of an interesting insight into how the world works. That he does — I don’t think he’s that worried that almost every calamity can be turned into some kind of opportunity. That’s why I think — I do think he’s going to have his own show. Or he’s going to — he probably won’t — he probably go on probation. And we’ll see him again,
TIMPF: I guess, but he has to say, I did it. Because I mean, there’s a video of the rehearsal.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: There also — there were rehearsals. He put so much time into this and spent no time thinking about it which is remarkable to me because all the steps, finding these people rehearsing it, you know, he’s like, yeah, I’ll write him a personal check. We’ll be fine.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: You know, I don’t — he didn’t think about it all but again, how does he even have a friend right now? Do they have to be like, yes, this is completely unfair. I can’t believe it. You were not — this was not a hoax. You were hate crimes. You know, he has he has to say I did it.
GUTFELD: No. But you know what, I did a couple of things, Harold, and then I’ll let you — A, his family is believing him and I think — I don’t know if that’s for real. But the other thing too is he didn’t really try to prove his innocence. He was hoping that don’t even — you shouldn’t care whether I’m guilty or not, you should just acquit the based on systemic racism. And that maybe –that’s why, like, maybe he’s hoping that the fact that he hoax people won’t matter. I don’t know.
FORD: That’s the sad and tragic part for me, in addition to everything that’s been said, and jury seemed like — I mean, the Justice seemed like it was — it was done this evening. There are people who are beaten up on the streets because they’re gay.
GUTFELD: Yes.
FORD: There are people who are abused on — because they’re black, or because they are — they’re different than someone else. And for this guy to do is — I don’t know this guy that his family I would assume would be supportive of them as any family would. But this misappropriation of this labels and these accusations, it does nothing to advance the cause. And I think he — at some level, some part of him genuinely wants to see supportive which is equality in society and better treatment for people.
And how he did and what he did, he got what he deserved from this jury this evening.
GUTFELD: Yes, I think that it — but I think it always is ego came before a crusade or a desire for the betterment of things. What if by chance, he becomes a victim of a real hate crime? You know, there should be — call it The Boy Who Cried Wolf. What do you think of that as a scenario? Right? Have you ever heard that before?
MACHI: Yes. I always felt it was weird that they let the boy guard against the wolves to begin with.
GUTFELD: Yes. That was true.
MACHI: Talking about bad casting.
GUTFELD: That was really bad. Very bad casting. Yes.
TIMPF: No wonder he’s a little weird.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MACHI: What happens if a wolf comes and he’s a boy?
GUTFELD: All right. Before we go. A really quick reminder. Come see me. I’ll be in Newark, New Jersey. This Sunday. Ggutfeld.com. Ticket information. You’ll find it there. Up next. She was never America’s choice but would you pay to hear her voice?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Her class claims she’s a master. Although her campaign was a disaster. Hillary Clinton is teaching a new master class on “The Power of Resilience,” a quality that helped her wear the same pantsuit for 30 years. For the unfamiliar, Master Class is a streaming platform where you can learn stuff from famous people and their annoying wives — a sexist would say.
It’s nothing like Joe Biden’s streaming which is brought to you by Flomax. By the way, my Master Class is on overcoming the stigma of being super-hot. Harold knows what I’m talking about. Anyway, as part of the class, Hillary reads the victory speech she would have read had she won the presidency in 2016.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I’ve never shared this with anybody. I’ve never read it out loud. My fellow Americans, today you sent a message to the whole world. Our values endure, our democracy stands strong; we will not be defined only by our differences. We will not be an us versus them country. In America, every boy and every girl can grow up to be whatever they dream, even president. Our country has proven once again, when there are no ceilings, the sky’s the limit.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Not so fast. So, that’s healthy reading a victory speech from an election that was five years ago, an election that you lost, and then making people pay for it. I got to admit, it’s pretty good. I mean, we’ve been through a pandemic, we’ve lost relatives jobs, our minds and she’s playing the victim over something that happened half a decade ago, almost. Not being President is your greatest tragedy, you’ve had a good life.
Unlike the Haitians, who dealt with your fake charity, held the Washington general’s loss of the Globetrotters a thousand times. You don’t see them teach in a Master Class. Maybe the generals to try claiming the Globetrotters or Russian assets — that would work. But Hillary’s talk is just the first in a series called Master Class presents the White House. It’s being followed by one by one from her very own husband, Bill, about inclusive leadership. Lesson One is how to invite new interns cigar shopping.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, Greg, that was a little much, don’t you think? I did like to joke about you being super hot, though, very funny. Nice job getting Harold Ford Jr. on the show, by the way.
GUTFELD: Thank you, God. He’s one of our biggest fans. First, Kat, what kind of Master Class would you teach? And do you think this is a mistake?
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: (INAUDIBLE) the Master Class would be a mistake?
GUTFELD: No. No, what —
TIMPF: It would.
GUTFELD: Oh.
TIMPF: But I don’t think she understands the concept either.
GUTFELD: Right?
TIMPF: You’re supposed — it’s not a video diary.
GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true.
TIMPF: What do we — did anybody learn anything?
GUTFELD: No, I did.
TIMPF: Is she attempting to teach anything? And any other like the you know stuff she said was lies to like little boys and girls. They can know that everything you can you can dream it, you can do it. It’s like, well, you couldn’t, you know. But it’s not, no, I can’t either. It’s not this hurts everybody. There are so many things that I’ve dreamed that I know I cannot do. And that’s true for everybody. It’s false. It’s like she doesn’t get what a class is. You can’t just read your diary and people but I guess they are paying for. That’s what I’ll do.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly, I just read from your diary.
TIMPF: But then I’ll lose my job.
GUTFELD: Harold, she doesn’t need the money, right?
HAROLD FORD, JR., FORMER U.S. REPRESENTATIVE: Look, I like, I like her, and I like her husband, they’re friends.
GUTFELD: I know they’re friends. You know everybody.
FORD: And they no doubt, but when there’s no doubt, they inspire strong opinion. Yes, they do I really like them or sometimes you don’t. I think though what she did in that speech, and I hear you about the video diary, but I think what she did, it’s what we want I think for more people in public life, she was transparent. She gave a window into her emotions. She talked about her patriotism. I watched the whole thing. And then she, she talked about, in an honest way, in a decent way that her dream was over — she was not going to be president.
GUTFELD: Right.
FORD: But if she believed that someday, a young woman can and would be, would be president. We can question whether or not there should be a market for people doing these kinds of things. But clearly, there is.
GUTFELD: Right.
FORD: And I took her at her work and I hope that you know, those in the class got something out of it as well and understand it politics, we just buried. We’re laying the rest Bob Dole, one of the great legislators of his era and maybe one of the great legislators and lawmakers of all time, because he brought with him, so you clap about, about him. He brought to the job of decency and patriotism, and I’m not, I’m not comparing the two of them but I think that speaks to me, yelled a little bit of that and I hope that kids who watch it or adults who watch it walk away from it with that lesson.
GUTFELD: OK. Yes, we’re going to just cut that part out. No, no, leave the Bob Dole stuff. We like, we like Bob Dole, we like Bob Dole, but all that other stuff just — Machi.
JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: I have a different take. My favorite part of the speech was that Hillary’s proof America is great is that they voted for her. That seems, that seems biased. But I also think what’s being missed here is Kat’s point that were abusing the term master class.
GUTFELD: Right.
MACHI: To me, this just seems like a video podcast about failure.
GUTFELD: I would watch a video podcast about failure. Oh, I do. The Joe — it’s Joe DeVito podcast. Kidding, do you have a podcast?
JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: I don’t. Somehow, I’ve escaped without having one.
GUTFELD: Yes, what did you make from this? Are you, are you sympathetic to it the way Harold is? Or do you find it?
DEVITO: No, this is probably another classic Clinton money laundering operation. I was concerned though when they originally said that title was — I thought they said the power of Brazilians, and I said if they’re showing this woman getting waxed, we’re shutting the Internet down. We’re not allowing that to happen.
GUTFELD: Resilience, not Brazilian.
DEVITO: Resilience. Oh, because, because who’s more — I was confused. Is that really the power of resilience of her complaining? That’s, that’s like, oh, watch Adam Schiff’s Master Class on charisma. So, yes, she — please just go away, go away.
GUTFELD: I think the resilience though, is reflected in using something that wasn’t used to make a profit. It’s like, it’s like let’s say your wedding gets canceled, and you sell all the invitations on eBay. Yes, that’s resilient.
TIMPF: Or you write a bunch of monologues then you come out with a book called The Monologue.
GUTFELD: Yes, well, you know what — take that out too. Coming up, now that Cuomo is gone Lemon’s left to soldier on.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Help us settle a bet, how dumb can Don Lemon get? It’s time once again for.
ANNOUNCER: And now, “GUTFELD PRESENTS: THE DUMBEST MAN IN AMERICA.”
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The crime is rising —
DON LEMON, CNN HOST: Oh my gosh, it’s so bad. You and I had a great dinner in New York City tonight. The president is a racist and he is a demagogue.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Welcome back to the dumbest man in America. I’m your host, Anna Navarro. Don Lemon is catching flack this week for heaping praise on President Biden’s latest gargantuan achievement lowering gas prices a whopping five cents. Yes, he gives Biden credit for it no longer being Thanksgiving weekend. And no joke, Don really did sing his praises.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LEON: Big economically for millions of Americans who have been dealing with soaring energy prices. Cost of pump finally easing up with the national average for a gallon of regular falling to $3.35. The lowest since October. Just look at that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: He sang. I guess those secret meetings with the White House asking for better press coverage are paying off. By the way, I think Lemon conveniently forgot that those soaring energy prices he mentioned were caused by the Biden administration in the first place. The only pipeline Biden hasn’t ruined goes from Russia to Germany. But praising the White House for their apparent role in lowering gas by a fraction is like thanking your kidnappers for cutting off only one finger. Not that I would know. Don failed to mention that current prices are still way higher compared to what we were paying a year ago under Trump. Of course, he never looked at those numbers perhaps because the White House told him not to but either way, I save money on gas by commuting to work like this.
Machi, the White House said please make positive news for us, and they did.
MACHI: What an amazing coincidence. But in the spirit of bipartisanship, administrations for generations have been low balling us on inflation because — I mean, it used to be — a single, single earner could support a large family, and now I go to the grocery store and my food builds up a third, my fuel costs are up 50 percent, my electricity is up 20 percent, my rent is up 25 percent, and then you hear the Consumer Price Index is up is up five percent. Like how are they figuring that number out, just like, like adding up all that stuff and then waiting it very lowly against Seth Rogen DVDs.
GUTFELD: Yes.
FORD: Took a long time to get to that.
GUTFELD: You know what, it was a three-hour drive to a half an hour on the — what do you think, Harold?
FORD: Look, if prices had gone up, we’d be jumping on Biden. Prices go down, we really shouldn’t criticize him. The real issue is inflation. Inflation is not going anywhere. The economy’s resetting, we’re resettling in our old habits and we probably still have a few months of this. But if gas prices can come down, two questions you ask: Is supply better or is demand worse? I hope it’s not demand worse. I hope it’s supply being more plentiful because if demand is up the economy will continue to grow.
GUTFELD: Yes, you know, what do you think, Joe?
DEVITO: I think it’s like the old saying, when life gives you Don Lemons, you should change the channel. It shows you how out of touch they are that they’re like, isn’t this great? It’s like a, like a pirate who robbed you, he flips your coin as, as he sails away. It’s like yes, this is very bad, but they’re so out of touch. They’re like a store that jacks up his prices and then gives you a coupon and says well enjoy this 20 percent off while you raise your prices by 40 percent.
GUTFELD: I think he’s a — Kat, I think he’s filling the shoes of Chris Cuomo, or filling something.
TIMPF: Yes, I thought it was condescending.
GUTFELD: Really?
TIMPF: Yes. Like I don’t want to. I hate to sound like an elitist, right, but I don’t think anybody considers what like 60 to 80 cents in savings and you fill up your tank to be a big economic relief, like a cause for celebration, is not 60 cents. Also, singing in general makes me uncomfortable.
GUTFELD: Yes, he actually sang the praises. Also, none of those guys drive cars, right?
TIMPF: No.
GUTFELD: No, they live in New York, so they don’t — like they’re pretending to care is like so fake. All right, we got to move on. Up next, are men’s tights a fashion faux pass or a sexy statement that leaves us in awe?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Should men have the right to go out in stretchy tights? It’s time for.
ANNOUNCER: “START LEARNING MANDARIN BECAUSE WE’RE OVER.”
GUTFELD: And the worst news I’ve heard since I found out N-sync broke up, the Wall Street Journal, it’s a paper, reports that it is now becoming popular for men to wear leggings, even outside of the gym. And yet I’m mocked for carrying a purse. The journal cites numerous sightings of the man tights ranging from models and a Gucci fashion show to Anthony Kiedis who is famous for fronting a Faith No More tribute band. Music, musicians will get that. Maybe they won’t. I don’t care. The article explains that the clothing item even has a name meggings, and that there are entire companies like Matador Meggings and Kapow Meggings devoted to the trend. For our exclusive report, we go to a man right now who’s currently wearing meggings.
You are very fashionable, you have natural style, Harold. You would not be caught dead wearing meggings outside, would you? I could not, I would not like to see that. I would ask you not to do it.
FORD: I didn’t know what they were until I got the note that we’re going to talk about that on the show. I don’t have any problem anybody wearing what they want to wear. I’ve never worn them before, probably won’t. But if someone — if a guy there looks like he’s in pretty good shape, if that’s what he likes to do, I’d let him do it.
GUTFELD: That, you are sitting on the fence which a lot of people wearing megging like — fence sitting, fence sitting, it’s the new curling —
TIMPF: Are you done.
GUTFELD: No, I’m not. I want to take a deep dive on this, Kat. What would you do if your husband started wearing meggings or has he started already?
TIMPF: I think your attitude is really unpatriotic.
GUTFELD: Why?
TIMPF: You know who wore leggings?
GUTFELD: Who?
TIMPF: The founding fathers.
GUTFELD: That’s right, they did.
TIMPF: We’ll get that. Thomas Jefferson. You tell me those are not leggings? I think I have that exact same pair of Lululemon’s.
GUTFELD: You know what? Yes, he wore leggings, he also owned slaves. You, racist. Get back at you, racist, white lady.
TIMPF: Are you done?
GUTFELD: Maybe I am.
TIMPF: I appreciate you lashing out with a wild accusation instead of admitting you were wrong.
GUTFELD: I’m fairly good at that.
TIMPF: Yes, so like him.
GUTFELD: All right. DeVito, you’ve got the body for —
DEVITO: I do.
GUTFELD: Not meggings.
DEVITO: What?
GUTFELD: That’s my new brand, they’re called not-meggings.
DEVITO: Yes.
GUTFELD: They’re just pants.
DEVITO: I always wore tights at the gym because I don’t like people talking to me.
GUTFELD: Oh, interesting.
DEVITO: And I found it was a very effective deterrent, that people — and I also like to get a good pump before I headed to the Renaissance Fair.
GUTFELD: What was your role?
DEVITO: My role — actually it was the codpiece salesman, so it really was a good way to show off what I was marketing.
GUTFELD: You know, it was always, it was always the codpiece salesman that got the ladies or the fair maidens.
DEVITO: It’s true.
GUTFELD: Joe, good to see you. How are your codpieces? Well, look at what I’m wearing.
DEVITO: They’re mine.
GUTFELD: Yes. You got to play the little flute, the flute —
TIMPF: You worked there, didn’t you?
GUTFELD: Yes, I did. Next thing you know, they’re, they’re just mauling each other in a pickle barrel.
DEVITO: Couple of cups of mead.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: Things start to happen.
GUTFELD: Oh, yes, mead.
DEVITO: I think this shows our trend toward athleisure which means that we really are giving up on wearing grownup clothing.
GUTFELD: Right, right. Every decade, Machi, we find a new way to be in public in our long John’s, right? I just want — 20 years when he walked around in a thong.
MACHI: I sure hope not, Greg. And I’ve got, I’ve got the quads for, for those leggings or thong. You know, I prefer to stick with sweat pants because, why would I want a tighter more revealing pant when sweat pants are much more comfortable? As Joe said, no one will make conversation with me, and no one will try to rob me in this lawless hellhole that we’re in. No one says, oh, let’s rob that guy. And then they come up and they’re like he’s got sweat pants on. He doesn’t have anything. He’s crazy.
GUTFELD: You know what, that’s the bank of — that is the Bank of America strategy, right?
MACHI: Dressed down.
GUTFELD: Dress down. It’s on their execs, and walking around midtown, dressed like a homeless person, and only the homeless people will try to beat you up. That’s America.
FORD: I’m going to write this down.
GUTFELD: Yes, this is not like “THE FIVE,” is it, Harold? No more one more thing with cute little dogs and (BLEEP) like that. All right, don’t go away. We’ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: We are out of time. Harold Ford, Jr., Joe DeVito, Joe Machi, Kat Timpf, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.
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